Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

I work in technical support. Needless to say, I get some interesting people. I've only done it for several months so far, but I could probably write a book on some interesting conversations I've had already.

Here's a few that come to mind. They're not the most interesting ones I've had, but they're interesting nonetheless. I might even add some as time goes on.

-----

Caller: Hi, I just bought a new computer. It's a mac. How do I get it on the internet? It's still connected to my old computer...

Me: Well, once you have your new computer hooked up, all you need to do is take the Ethernet cable from your old computer and plug it in to the new one. Do you know what the Ethernet cable looks like?

Caller: No, I don't...

Me: It looks like a phone cord, but thicker. It has the plastic connector at the end that has a prong which you need to push down in order to remove. *Sounds of caller shuffling through cables for several seconds*

Caller: *Sound of an ethernet cable clicking in the background* That's it? That's all you need to do?

Me: That's it.

Caller: Wow, macs are easy!

-----

Caller: (angry)My internet and phones aren't working!

Me:I can certainly help you with that, sir. Just give me a minute to take a look at your services from our end to see what the prob...

Caller (Nearly yelling): You know what? This is BULLSHIT! I have to call you damn people almost every day for this shit. The other companies xxxxx and xxxxx don't have any problems! Get your stupid shit together! God, I cannot believe this!

Me:(At this point, the system indicates to me that he hasn't called in for months) Sir, we're on the phone together to fix the problem together, so let's get to the bottom of it and get everything working again, okay? (Our systems also show that his modem, which provides both his phone and internet service, is offline) ... Do you know where the modem is in your house, sir?

Caller:Yes, it's in the basement. I'm calling on a FUCKING cellphone using my GODDAMN MINUTES because my phones aren't working!

Me:Would you be able to do me a favor and head over it to see what the lights are doing?

Caller:And how the hell am I supposed to do that? As soon as I go in the basement the call will drop! Remember? I'm on a cellphone???

Me:You can just put the phone down if you need to. That is, if you don't mind. Take all the time you need sir.

Caller:(I hear him put the phone down. He walks away, mumbling to himself loudly) ... Stupid son of a bitch ... (He is gone for several minute. He returns, picking up the phone and speaking as angry as ever) ... There aren't ANY lights on!

Me:Did you check the connection of the power cord?

Caller:That's not going to be the problem, no!

Me:Aside from the making sure the connection of the power cord is good, are you sure that the modem isn't plugged in to a power strip that's turned off? Maybe it's plugged in to an outlet that's controlled by a light switch, or perhaps one of your circuit breakers went off?

Caller:No! It's not any of those problems! It's this goddamn piece of shit that you people gave me! Ever since I got your service, I've been having problems with it ever since!!

Me:(It's obvious that he hasn't checked for any of the above problems) Okay. Then at this point, we'll want to know if it's a problem with the modem, or if it's the outlet that it's plugged in to. Would you be able to disconnect the modem and plug it in to a different outlet and see if you can get any lights to come on?

Caller:No, I can't do that! There's only one outlet down in the basement!

Me:Well, our current objective is to see if we can get any lights to turn on on the modem. You can plug it in to any outlet for that -- it doesn't matter which.

Caller:(He slams his phone down again and walks off, mumbling out loud like last time) ... Fucking bitch ... (I hear him go down the stairs again and there's several minutes of silence with him presumably working on the problem. I hear him approach the phone again. Before he starts talking, I check on the status of his modem and it's still offline. At this point, he's absolutely fuming) ... How the HELL am I supposed to plug it in to a different outlet! There's only one outlet down there, god damn it!

Me:It doesn't have to be an outlet down there. It can be any outlet in the entire house. We just want to see if any lights come on when you plug it in.

Caller:(Again, he puts his phone down and walks away, cussing) ... Stupid asshole bitch ...

He spends a lot less time away from the phone this time. Within a minute, I hear him approach the phone again and pick it up. Instead of saying anything, he hangs up on me.

I immediately check our system and his cable modem was back online. The modem was obviously unplugged when he called in. He was such an ass about it that he wouldn't dare embarrass himself by telling me, so he hung up hoping I wouldn't find out. Nice.

Updated: 01/09/09 6:28 AM Log in to comment! | Share this!

The People Have Spoken

32 Comments

Jan. 9, 2009 | 5:53 AM Kuoke says:

I chuckled to myself a little.

Jan. 9, 2009 | 11:57 AM cadreamer says:

RFLMAO!!:)

I occasionally have to take Patient Service calls when our call center gets backed up. You HAVE to love the stupidity of some people. You can either laugh about it, or get pissed about it. I try to choose the former but every once in awhile someone will get on my nerves......afterwards I laugh at them AND myself.

Jan. 10, 2009 | 1:10 PM 51430 says:

It's truly amazing how people can be such assholes and declare they know the problem, when the problem's staring them right in the face and they're too blinded by their arrogance to notice, isn't it?

Jan. 10, 2009 | 6:17 PM Kwing says:

Cool, you leveled up!

Jan. 11, 2009 | 9:18 PM LynchedJohNNY says:

Oh ho buddy I know where your coming from!
I work for Kirby and I not only get shit like that from people fuming over how to work their $2,000 home cleaning system but most of them forget to activate a safety switch!

Best of luck ~JC~

Jan. 11, 2009 | 9:28 PM TehSlapHappy says:

What a dick the last on is.

Jan. 11, 2009 | 10:31 PM bananasrus09 says:

Hi RageVI!

Jan. 12, 2009 | 3:27 AM SardonicSamurai says:

I've got to tell you. I'd NEVER be able to work your current job. I'd get fired with in days, if not the day I start.

Jan. 12, 2009 | 11:54 AM wismty says:

Hey.

I used to work in Costumer Support for a cellphone company (Cingular) and I also had to deal with clients which weren't exactly geniuses. Once I had one guy who thought his phone wasn't working, and he wasn't too cordial about it either... long story short, there was a button on the top which turned it on, he hung up on me after hearing the nokia tune.

I guess it's not their fault being ill-informed about our products, if they weren't we wouldn't have a job!

Also, stop depositing, plskthxbye. :)

Jan. 13, 2009 | 1:39 AM RageVI responds:

Nice =)

Also, no way! I hope you enjoy bobbling up and down in your exp rank whenever I opt to deposit later in the day! Ha!

No more freebies (Until something huge happens and I'm not able to deposit like last time I didn't) ...

Jan. 14, 2009 | 4:37 PM dx5231 says:

roflmao. The second guy was just fucking amazing. Haha, people these days.

Some of them do not even know a single thing about computers. They should learn a bit more, the calls on your news post were about easy stuff.

Jan. 15, 2009 | 12:45 AM MadGuns22 says:

Lol, some people can be stupid sometimes.

Nice handling of that one there. :D

Jan. 16, 2009 | 4:17 PM FurryFox says:

lol.

Jan. 19, 2009 | 3:09 AM B0UNC3 says:

Lol, the last one was a good one. Sounds like the teachers at my oldschool.
They reported that several computers were malfunctioning when all they had to do was turning the monitors on XD.Ahhhh good times :')

Jan. 20, 2009 | 11:59 AM PoisonSky says:

Customers, eh?

Jan. 25, 2009 | 6:01 PM ectoplasmer3 says:

you thread got locked! rage giftr abusives

Jan. 25, 2009 | 8:34 PM A-Shift says:

Rage's gift got locked, I posted there many times and I think that your thread really helped against abusive reviews and submissions, helping the moderators find abusive reviews that wouldn't have been found instead.

It also was a good place to find help against wide spam attacks (and sometimes a whistle points' seeker meeting point, but are whistle stats a way to encourage whistle blowing and flagging or not?).

Locking your thread was a shame, but it happened and we must face it.
Anyway thanks for your gift, as long as it lasted.

Jan. 26, 2009 | 7:04 PM Thegluestickman says:

What company do you work for?

Jan. 30, 2009 | 1:05 AM selena18 says:

Cool story, post more :)

I wouldn't be able to handle the rude people..

Feb. 1, 2009 | 9:33 PM GoKy says:

Wow, what a jerk-off. I had to deal with that kinda crap back when I worked at Goodwill. It's like some people HAVE to be ignorant or they will actually be PLEASANT, God forbid... But then there's those people that make your day, so sometimes it's not all bad...

Feb. 2, 2009 | 4:52 PM lamapaj says:

LOL stupid fucker =D

Feb. 4, 2009 | 2:24 PM MrHero17 says:

Thats funny, good thing your dealing with these people over a phone, having to talk to them in person would suck!

Feb. 7, 2009 | 9:37 PM 7IsUnlucky says:

Ahahahahaahahahaha

I wish I worked there.

Feb. 9, 2009 | 10:34 PM DraGoN-RaGe-9001 says:

you do a good job keeping your cool dealing with these ass hats. I solute you.

Feb. 13, 2009 | 3:25 PM ganon95 says:

that first one: mac's are for old people. but that story was pretty funny XD i personally hate macs

second one: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! what a dumb ass

Feb. 15, 2009 | 2:37 AM crapatflash says:

I'll bet working in a job like yours gives a rough impression of how many dicks, assholes and stupid people there are in the world at the moment, which is why it's getting all fucked up.

Feb. 18, 2009 | 8:45 AM Aci6 says:

That first one was funny and that second one just sounds agonising, I wouldn't be able to do that job D: People frustrate me too easily.

Feb. 21, 2009 | 11:19 AM DeadWorld777 says:

LMFAO

that just made my day a wholeeeee lot better =]]]]

Feb. 21, 2009 | 10:34 PM hansari says:

"Macs ARE easy"

Lol, please post more!!

Mar. 2, 2009 | 7:14 AM Dj-Brand0 says:

LOL HAHAHA The 2nd one would be like my dad.. Except a bit less.. aggressive. loll
He really doesn't like the isp I told him not to get and he was always bitching about how he keeps going over the limit and having to pay extra money :S

But yeah.. He argues sometimes over technical support when i know it would be so much easier if he just cooperated.

Funny shit XD lol

Mar. 5, 2009 | 4:10 AM AIDSVirus says:

y halo thar

Mar. 12, 2009 | 11:33 PM mo4form says:

I don't really read this shit.
I just came in here to insult you

Nov. 13, 2009 | 3:50 PM Dreamscaper says:

Obviously, mo4form needs to read or get a better sense of humor!!!

Anyway, in reference to this post... I remember a ton of calls I got working at a call center that were friggin hilarious due to the fact that most of the callers were just looking to be labeled as "Attrition Dumbass". Here's an example

Caller: 'I've been ringing 0800-2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'

Me: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'

Caller: 'It was on the brochure to your magazine.'

Me: 'Sir, 0700-2300 is our open hours.'

Caller: *paused for a bit* 'Oh, ok. Thanks!'

This makes me wonder how in the hell this caller was actually able to contact me about the problem he was having. Funny stories you have, Rage!